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10 things happen meeting a good guy after a toxic relationship 

When you are in a toxic relationship you don’t realize how much the emotional abuse impacts you. Not while you’re in it at least. When you’re in a toxic relationship, everything about it is kind of addicting. It’s the knowing and not knowing what’s going to happen. It’s the hope that’ll it’ll change but there’s also comfort in things that are the same. There’s a comfort in someone knowing you so deeply.

And it takes everything in you to not walk away. And even when you walk away, you find yourself going back so many times because you miss him. You miss the adrenaline rush of high intense emotions. From love to screaming to making up.

But then you meet a good guy. And when that happens that’s when you realize how negatively this past relationship has affected you. And sometimes you even push people away because of it.
You aren’t used to being treated so well, you almost reject it.
1. At first, you expect the worst.

After a toxic relationship, you don’t trust anyone. Even yourself. You wonder how you tolerated such a relationship for so long. And you enter every relationship expecting the worst of someone. For a while, you don’t believe good guys do exist. Because for so long you looked for the wrong qualities and you accepted a lot of these people who didn’t deserve you.

2. And overthink everything.

You think everyone has motives or doesn’t mean what they say. When you’ve caught someone in lies so often it makes you paranoid as fuck. You don’t believe people can be honest or mean what they say. You make crazy assumptions and doubt really good people just because of one person.
Next thing you know you’re explaining to this guy how you got to this conclusion in your head and he’s baffled. Not because you’ve questioned him but that someone has made you this way and all he wants to do is reverse this.

3. You’ll think he’s too good to be true.
Someone treating you this well has got to be too good to be true. You’re expecting the other shoe to drop. You’re expecting him to lose it one day. You’re expecting some abrupt ending without closure. But every day he just proves to you he’s the same person he’s been from the start. He’s given you no reason to question him but it isn’t him you don’t trust it’s everyone in the past.

4. After you push him away.

Someone in the past has led you to believe you don’t deserve the best. So when you get it you reject it. You fear something good because you don’t want to lose it. You don’t want to get hurt again so you try and ruin it first. But what you’ll realize that’s different about this guy is when you run he’ll chase you. When you push him he’ll grab you close and not let you leave.

5. You’re going to expect fights.
You keep waiting for a fight. But instead, everything gets talked out and explained. And there’s this wave of comfort afterward and you realize normal people don’t leave the second something goes wrong.

6. Then you’ll apologize too often.
He’s going to wonder why you apologize so often or what it is you’re saying sorry for. He’ll see the pain in your eyes from someone in the past whose made you question yourself. He’ll see the pain in your heart trying so hard to love again when you’ve only known heartbreak. And he’s going to constantly reassure you everything is okay.
When a good guy loves someone who is broken who has only known toxic relationships, what he does is teach her she didn’t deserve anything she got. He redefines these horrible standards she has and he chooses to be the exception.

7. And question if they are better off without you.

You think they are better off without you but the truth is just as they have made your life better it goes both ways. And I know you’re scared to love again. I know you’re afraid to let anyone that close. But your sensitivity. Your compassion. Your strength and understanding and lack of judgment in everyone is what makes you beautiful.
This new relationship isn’t what you are used to but it’s exactly what you deserve.

8. You overcompensate.
And when you finally get comfortable and accept this relationship you are going to love this person with everything you have in you. But don’t try too hard. Don’t think you have to. In the past, you were taught your best isn’t good enough. So you had to try too hard. You had to compete. You had to prove yourself.
What you should have learned was your best was good enough and it was him that didn’t deserve it.

9. Then you trust him.
There’s going to be a moment where you tell this guy everything that’s happened. A moment you trust him to let him that close. And when you tell him about the past and the people who have hurt you what you’ll find isn’t that’s he’s going to take off. It’s just given him a reason to stay.
I know someone in your past taught you about tough love. They taught you vulnerability is a weakness. You’ve had to be strong for so long and you’ve had to endure a lot of things you didn’t deserve. But all of it has made you more beautiful than you know. And all of it will make the right person appreciate you for overcoming all of it.

And with tears in your eyes even you will be grateful for a toxic relationship that didn’t destroy you but rather made you the strong person you are today.

10. Finally you learn what love really is.

You begin to realize that relationship that used to define your standard of love was so far from the real thing. You learn that love isn’t supposed to hurt you or be demeaning. Love isn’t supposed to break your heart just to build you back up. Love is not anything that comes in the form of jealousy. Whether it’s making you jealous or being jealous of you. The right type of love does not play games with your heart or want to see you in pain.
You realize all of that wasn’t love but control.
You build yourself back up and fearlessly love again, only this time you do it right.

The right type of love heals you and that’s exactly what this guy has done.

10 Things That Happen Meeting A Good Guy After A Toxic Relationship

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Contentment · Determination · Inspiration · Life · Nature · Optimistic · photography · Positivity · Spring · Sweden · Thoughts · woods

Better days are coming 

They said great things take time! 

Surely is 👌🏾 

Have you been in a situation wherein you’re trying to do your best, giving your perfect shot? but still it doesn’t work the way you expected to, the way you want it, the way you figure it out and the way you planned it. It’s quite stressing isn’t it? You feel horrible and self pity about your self , about the situation you are into. That feeling of being helpless and hopeless. 

Because there are just things in life that you can’t force to happen. No matter how eager and determined you are. It takes SOME REAL TIME IN YOUR ON TIME. I mean, I believe everything happens for a REASON. And whatever it is just let it go. Let the time work on it. Don’t force it. You can’t force a flower to bloom on winter time. Can you? You can’t force the snow to pour down on summertime. Make sense! 

They said try and try until you succeed.Well, it needs self control,determination, eagerness, patience and a brave heart. If you really want something you really need to work on it. Nothing comes so easy these days. You really need to work your ass so hard to make it happen. But if things go wrong. Just don’t give up! Better days are coming. And if that will come. I’m sure it will be all yours. YOURS! 
The thought that so many people seem to miss is that happiness doesn’t start with a relationship, a college degree or a job. It starts with your thoughts and what you tell your self everyday. Like EVERYDAY 👌🏾

LIFE is not a competition. We don’t have this deadline to accomplish our works in life. We just have to live and live. 

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Catch me by the sea 🌊 

Spring is on it’s way and I can’t wait for real. Running, walking miles ,  biking , wearing some thin clothes and be free from the winter atmosphere. 

As I lived close to the sea. I have the opportunity to visit the seaside anytime I want. It’s make me feel so relax,calm and I feel very peaceful within. Like standing or sitting on the seashore watching the birds flying over the waves. How the waves hits the rocks . How the blue sky reflects its beauty to the mirror of water. I know, not every human race try to see every details of  how our mother nature reveals. 

Another blue sky appears on the surface

Birds are coming back

Green grass appearing

 Hope is coming and more energy and perhaps more positivity will conquer

And more importantly the sun is up daily 

So walk as far as you can, go for a bike ride wherever you wanna go until your legs get hurt and numb 😅 (YOLO) 😬🙈🙉🙊 

Love the life you live 🌊

At some point in life, 

nature becomes enough for the lonely soul 

 The silence of the sea 

that surrounds you and you can feel it 

 Smell the fresh air from the ocean breeze

The salty air that blew everywhere 

and the magic that whisper in to your ear
Let your soul and spirit fly 

Au pair life · Europe · Nature · photography · SKÅNE · sunset · Sweden · Thoughts · travel

The sky will never be the same ✔️

I will never get tired chasing the most beautiful thing about life! 


I was walking in Malmö City few weeks ago and there’s a guy representing from a certain organization stopped and asked us. “Whats the most significant thing about life?” I answered it without a doubt. Chasing sunset I added and my best friend nod her head as if we have the same thoughts. And we discussed everything and I figured it out. How could those words came out to my mouth that quick as I didn’t expect it. Perhaps , coz I’m really obsessed about sunset 😂😅 Then I came to realized what’s really the most significant thing about life? My thoughts still running every now again thingking what really it is? 


Aside from living and fighting to survive. What’s your daily goal? How far will you give your best? I don’t really have goals like very tremendous goals about life. Perhaps, I’m living my life to the extent that I’m contented of what I have. I’m not really competitive. And I’m thankful that I got that genes attitude from my Dad 😁😅👌🏾 It’s not that I don’t have a dream . I also have dreams but as tiny as the strand of my Asian hair 😅😬 literally  I just want to be happy. Well, everybody wants to be happy MIESSY!🙊🙉🙈 I mean if you would think too much of what’s going on or the future ahead it will destroy every happy moments that you are living NOW. Just let it go, let it go like a wave from the Ocean that hits the seashore. Like the sun rays that’s hits your hair. Like live your life like there’s no tomorrow as they always said. 


No matter how positive we are in life or how we are good in escaping the reality and pretending everything is okay. We couldn’t just run away from the real world. 

But it’s up to you how you’ll be able to fit in and fight. Sometimes, life is just like an Ingress game. hacking (to gain more energy ) deploying resonators (to overcome obstacles) link portals to others (learn to adjust and fit in the society) but that’s how the way it is . 

Yes ,we are under on the same sky particularly but no matter how we are in the same place. Things may vary and situation might not be keep on repeating back. 

You just have to open up yourself to any possibilities that life could offer. 

Coz the sky will never be the same after all 💛 And life is not a competition! BE STILL . 

Thoughts

This Is Why The Girl That’s Always Smiling Feels Miserable Inside

The girl that’s always smiling tries to make everyone else happy. When one of her friends is heartbroken, she’s the first one to give a pep talk. To remind her of how beautiful she is and how her ex is going to regret leaving her.

She’ll do whatever it takes — buy her friend food or watch Disney movies alongside her or go out drinking together — because she needs that friend to be happy again.

She loves when she can make someone laugh through their tears. When she can bring a little bit of hope into someone else’s life.

But she’s so busy worrying about everyone around her that she neglects her own life. She shoves her problems deep into her stomach so she can deal with everyone else’s issues. So she can be a good friend.

She feels like it’s rude to yammer on about her problems when she’s having a conversation with someone close to her. Like she has some sort of obligation to be the fun one. The happy one. The positive one.

She hides how she feels — even from the people that pull her aside and ask her how she’s doing. From the friends that honestly want to know what’s going on in her life.
She doesn’t want to bother them. She doesn’t want to weigh them down with her misery. So she claims that she’s fine. She tells them funny stories about her week and leaves out the devastating ones. She edits her life to make it look perfect.

And, on the rare occasions that she actually opens up about her problems, she makes them sound like a joke. I’m flunking my math class haha I’ve barely been getting any sleep haha I think my boss is going to fire me LMAO. 
She acts like she has no worries, so no one worries about her.
She’s a master at pretending. But she’s secretly miserable. She’s lost. She’s afraid.

She wishes that someone would see past her white toothed smile and into her shattered soul. But no one does. No one ever does.

Everyone assumes that depression is hidden beneath black clothes and gothic haircuts. They think that unhappiness is obvious. That they would know if someone they loved was struggling.
They don’t realize that the girls with the widest smiles have the deepest cracks in their hearts.

They don’t realize that you’re trying so hard to make everyone else happy, because you know what it feels like to be miserable, and you don’t think anyone deserves to feel that way.

They don’t realize that you need them. That you want them to be there for you in the same way you’ve always been there for them.

They don’t realize that you’re smiling on the outside and screaming on the inside. 

And they have no idea how strong you are. How much courage it takes for you to keep going — with a smile on your face and laughter on your lips.

You make living look easy. And you don’t get enough credit for that.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/holly-riordan/2017/02/this-is-why-the-girl-thats-always-smiling-feels-miserable-inside/

Thoughts

Read this if boys keep taking advantage of your kindness 

There’s something to be said about a man’s back pocket and what he keeps in it. Usually it’s his wallet or phone, but more often than not, it’s where he keeps things until its use is absolutely necessary. He does this so often that you don’t realize that, like his phone or wallet, you’ve somehow ended up being stuffed inside and treated the same way — like an object.

It’s hard to understand how this could be a bad thing. What’s wrong with being needed and helping him? What’s wrong with dropping your plans to fit him into your schedule?

But you know, deep in your gut and in the very back of your mind, that he’s only using you.

The worst part is that you know it and you’re helpless to do anything to fix the situation. While it makes you happy to have him look at you like you’re then best thing he’s ever seen, or call you up in the middle of the day to ask you for something, you know it’s wrong to jump at the opportunity to make him happy.

Then one day, he meets someone new.
Suddenly, he doesn’t call you as much as he used to. He doesn’t ask you to help him, to run errands with him, to hang out with him when he doesn’t have anything better to do.

Weeks will go by, and you’ll call him, because you miss spending time with him and being his girl on Friday, but his phone goes straight to voicemail, and your texts are unanswered.

You’ll wonder what it is you’ve done to deserve being treated like a stranger when you were so close just a moment before. You’ll stress yourself out and try not to cry and break down, because you feel like you’ve lost someone, and you suck it up and do your best to get over it and move on.

Then he calls you.

His name lights up your phone’s screen and you think about letting it go to voicemail, but you answer. He tells you how busy he’s been, how he’s met someone new. He’ll joke with you, and say he’s sorry, even though you know in your heart that he doesn’t mean it. And the worst part is that you forgive him and fall back into the same pattern all over again.

He keeps you in his back pocket, because just like his debit card, he knows where you are and how to use you when absolutely necessary.

He takes advantage of your kindness and of your relationship, because he knows how to play you. He knows you’ll forgive him and he’ll tuck you away until you’re convenient again.

Each time the cut gets a little deeper than the last and you’ll wonder how much longer he’ll keep hurting you, making you doubt your self-worth, making you pretend that everything is okay when you feel like you’re bleeding out.
In one crystallizing moment, you’ll finally understand that he’ll never change. He’ll never stop using you.
It’s hard to let him go. It seems almost impossible, but the day you realize that you’re tired of being his designated fluffer is the day he loses a valuable and loving person in his life.

You’ll stop answering his calls and focus on helping yourself. You’ll stop replying to his texts and Facebook messages and start doing things that make you happy. You’ll stop putting his needs before your own.

Slowly but surely, you’ll start to find yourself again, and not the version you were when you were under his spell, but the authentically benevolent being you always were.

You’ll rediscover your passions and goals and do things you never got the chance to do, because you were always concerned about his needs and wants. You’ll meet people who genuinely appreciate you and your kindness and warmth, who don’t take advantage of you or make you question where you stand in their lives.
You’ll meet a guy who looks at you like you’ve hung the heavens, and you’ll give him the time and energy you used to waste on a man-child who took you for granted.

And one day, you will look back upon the days when you were heartbroken over the man who never put you first, and realize that the thing about back pockets is that sometimes, if you’re not careful, something important will fall out.  
http://thoughtcatalog.com/brixton-lynch/2017/02/read-this-if-boys-keep-taking-advantage-of-your-kindness/