The girl that’s always smiling tries to make everyone else happy. When one of her friends is heartbroken, she’s the first one to give a pep talk. To remind her of how beautiful she is and how her ex is going to regret leaving her.
She’ll do whatever it takes — buy her friend food or watch Disney movies alongside her or go out drinking together — because she needs that friend to be happy again.
She loves when she can make someone laugh through their tears. When she can bring a little bit of hope into someone else’s life.
But she’s so busy worrying about everyone around her that she neglects her own life. She shoves her problems deep into her stomach so she can deal with everyone else’s issues. So she can be a good friend.
She feels like it’s rude to yammer on about her problems when she’s having a conversation with someone close to her. Like she has some sort of obligation to be the fun one. The happy one. The positive one.
She hides how she feels — even from the people that pull her aside and ask her how she’s doing. From the friends that honestly want to know what’s going on in her life.
She doesn’t want to bother them. She doesn’t want to weigh them down with her misery. So she claims that she’s fine. She tells them funny stories about her week and leaves out the devastating ones. She edits her life to make it look perfect.
And, on the rare occasions that she actually opens up about her problems, she makes them sound like a joke. I’m flunking my math class haha I’ve barely been getting any sleep haha I think my boss is going to fire me LMAO.
She acts like she has no worries, so no one worries about her.
She’s a master at pretending. But she’s secretly miserable. She’s lost. She’s afraid.
She wishes that someone would see past her white toothed smile and into her shattered soul. But no one does. No one ever does.
Everyone assumes that depression is hidden beneath black clothes and gothic haircuts. They think that unhappiness is obvious. That they would know if someone they loved was struggling.
They don’t realize that the girls with the widest smiles have the deepest cracks in their hearts.
They don’t realize that you’re trying so hard to make everyone else happy, because you know what it feels like to be miserable, and you don’t think anyone deserves to feel that way.
They don’t realize that you need them. That you want them to be there for you in the same way you’ve always been there for them.
They don’t realize that you’re smiling on the outside and screaming on the inside.
And they have no idea how strong you are. How much courage it takes for you to keep going — with a smile on your face and laughter on your lips.
You make living look easy. And you don’t get enough credit for that.